INTERMEDIATE LONDON LIVING GUIDE CONTINUED

Only ride a cycle in the streets of London if you are prepared to enter into a Mad-Maxesque kill or be killed relationship with car drivers, particularly the 19000 hackney, or black cab drivers, whose vehicles are painted black owing to the fact that like hearses, they bring death on wheels. A formal part of "The Knowledge" includes methods of best running cyclists off the road without causing damage to wheel-arches and/or happy-go-lucky cockney demeanour.
Do not, under any circumstances attempt to talk to someone you don't know on any form of public transport unless you are wish to be looked upon as a verbal leper.
Thank newsagents for your Rizlas and Freddos by saying "boss", particularly in East London.
Be prepared to throw radio against the wall after constant barrage of Essex garage djs singing over the tunes they play. This relatively modern phenomenon has recently spread like wildfire over the airwaves with the djs in question oblivious to the similarity of their dulcet tones with the sound of pigs en route to an abattoire.
Do not expect any till attendant in Benjys sandwich shops to acknowledge your humanity. If you are the recipient of a smile, consider yourself on the purple path to enlightment.

Concrete and Clay