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NON-PURPOSES

These days, the telephone has assumed a variety of different functions, most of which have little or nothing to do with the telephone's intended purpose as a communicator with other telephone-handling people. You could call these functions 'non-purposes'.

My favourite non-purpose for a telephone is as a cloaking device when walking along a street or in a building and encountering individuals with whom communication is not required/not hoped for/dreaded. For this non-purpose, the phone is switched off (a sudden ring would crash the cloacking) and placed against the ear whilst a concerned/mirthful face is adopted. In this ostensibly distracted state it is possible to glide almost unnoticed, and certainly unhailed, past your target of avoidance.

This cloaking is also a useful tactic when wishing to use toilets of pubs you haven't bought a drink in.

Do people have any other non-purposes for everyday objects?

#25 May 2006 | Comments (1)