Concrete and Clay

Hello Again.

This week, I shall be probing the human digestive tract. (Squeamish please stop reading now...)

Did you know sound is so powerful that it is used to break up anything from 20 storey bulidings to the Kidney Stones in your urethral tract? Well I sure as hell didn't.

I'm not one for poop jokes.

So when I heard that emitting a 5Hz sine wave will actually loosen your stool, I thought: "shit, that gives me an idea".

Why not incorporate 5Hz tones into scary movies (at their peaks) in order to induce people to "shit themselves"? That way, when they go see the movie (and shit themselves) they can tell their friends it was sooooooooo scary that they shit themselves... I'm sure their friends will want in on the action (a little like when you taste something awful and you give it to someone else to taste and you say: "here, taste this, its so awful" and then they usually do (do).

This interactive movie phenomena would create more jobs: the theatres across the world would have to hire a human "pooper-scooper". This isn't as far-fetched as it sounds: An old friend of mine had a job workin on a boat that took business men and wealthy tourists to go swim with Great White Sharks. Anyway, he said the worst part of the job was cleaning the wet-suits after people came out of the cages cause 9 times out of 10, they shat themselves.

So anyway, for a generation that was content with 3D glasses and smokin a bowl before a flick, I'd like some (serious) thoughts on the issue.

Deep Thoughts From Ken (no, I don't think its inapropriate, if that's how its spelt).